Date: 11/10/2007

UNDREAMABLE DREAM


I guess the real problem is it was never enought being V, not to world and not to me. Truth is i was always weak. I would have given it all away to strong to be fearless - never flitch just act. And so i pushd hard, killed off any emotions or signs thereof until there was nothing left, now i am no different from a television set or a kitchen applience. At the end of all that i finally had power - wasnt strong though.. Lifting weights only builds muscles, it did not make me stronger. What do you make of man who can can climb the highest moutain and shake deaths hand, but yet cannot find the strength inside act on his emotions knowing his partner is willing. ...its thoughts like these that kept me up last nite, and the days events that made me sober to certain truths about myself. Its too late to save people like me, i must accept my parameters and stop dreaming this udreamable dream. There are things i will never have as well as emotions i will never know. A man cannot declare war on himself and win.


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